With Daddy on a spring day in Iowa
The good news is that we’ve made tremendous progress with the Snapper’s sleep, at least as it pertains to his physical arrangements. After a week or so with the laundry basket, we moved him to a slightly larger plastic storage container (sans lid, duh), both on an incline, then to the crib on an incline with rolled up blankets under the crib sheet, and now in the crib, flat. Hooray!
However, in an effort to ruin whatever progress we had made–after each container switch he’d do four and four, then slowly move to six or seven and three, hallelujah–I decided he should learn to sleep on his own. My motivation was actually entirely selfish, as 1) it’s getting warmer and a baby strapped to my bod for daytime naps is going to get uncomfortable; and 2) it takes anywhere from an hour to three from the time I start nursing until the time he stays in bed asleep, and frankly, I want my evenings back. Especially as I need to start dissertating seriously or it it will never get done.
I was uncomfortable with a total CIO, and for him the modified Ferber-style I knew would be too much. So we planned to get him ready at the usual time, nurse, and put him down awake. Then one of us would sit with him until he fell asleep. I imagined he’d cry for a little while, figure out how to soothe himself, all while having the security of a parent right next to the crib. Oh, how very wrong I was. The night started off all right. He cried and cried for about thirty minutes. I could tell he was not hysterical but working really hard at trying to figure things out. I hushed reassuring phrases and stroked his head. Eventually he found his hand and started mouthing it for comfort. He slowly worked it out and fell asleep.
For 90 seconds. Then he jerked awake and began howling. My emotions changed in an instant. All of the sudden it felt wrong and cruel. I called in reinforcements, got on the computer, and closed the door. Just as I was reading on Moxie about babies who increase tension by crying, Attic Man appeared with a very hungry Snapper, an hour and fifteen minutes after we had begun with no signs of calming down. So, wrung out with a confused and hungry baby, I nursed him to sleep.
Attic Man and I had a trouble-shooting session as he slept. We decided that going from a 10 p.m. to 7 p.m. bedtime was too difficult for the Snapper, and that he might be more ready to sleep between 8 and 9. We also think he’s a baby who, at least right now, does not have the ability to fall asleep on his own. I relayed the above to our pediatrician, who was in full agreement with our assessment.
So that’s what we’ve been doing for the past five days and it’s going really well, save last night, which was awful and bad because of temperature issues and diaper rash. Tonight, though, I started nursing him (after a short bedtime routine by Attic Man) at 8 and he was down by 8:45. I read one in the stack of books on infant sleep I checked out at the library as he nursed down, marveling at how simple it made sleep and at how much more it seems, at least to me, there is to the issue, and how individual to each baby it is.
So what’s next? I would still like to eventually move him toward being able to sleep on his own, not because I mind nursing to sleep, but because it takes sooooo long every night. I’m hoping that it will take less and less time. If it doesn’t, I’m thinking of incorporating a transitional object and gradually moving the sleep association from the breast to the object. For now, though, I think we’ll just work on making his bedtime really consistent. This is a kid that needs very very gradual change, and I’m cool with that.
Man, getting a baby to sleep is harder than I ever thought that it was. I was all about “getting your child to sleep” with Small Sun but he was just a good sleeper by nature. Other than give him scheduled opportunities to sleep, I wasn’t doing any work. The Sprout is a whole other story! We are still floundering. I’m not okay with CIO right now. Sometimes nursing to sleep is what works. After hysterical screaming, I’m more than happy to quiet her any way I can!