Attic Man and I will have been married for eight years this June. It’s an even-numbered year, so unfortunately that means it’s time to move.
It’s not like we planned it this way. It’s just that every two years an opportunity for something better comes along: a move to Pittsburgh for grad school, a move across Pittsburgh for a bigger, nicer place nearer to school, a move halfway across the country for midwest living (and now, law school). Now we’re looking at places in Iowa City. We’re both tired of Attic Man’s commute (45 min each way, and with nasty weather as much as 90 min) and I’m beginning to tire of Cedar Rapids. It has its charms, true, but IC has some things I really miss, like a food co-op, ethnic restaurants, and a university. When we visit there I always feel more natural, like I can put down my guard. I don’t have to explain why I am enrolled in a Pittsburgh school but live in Iowa, or what a dissertation is. I don’t mind explaining these things, and I don’t look down on people who need them to be explained. I am just tired of feeling like a…I don’t know…like an impostor, like I am always holding back.
The depressing part of it (aside from the hell of relocation) is that IC is a hell of a lot more expensive than CR. We will save a bundle on gas (and parking, if we can find something close enough to the law school) but it does depend on the individual situation whether or not we break even on the prospect. We WILL come out ahead in terms of time, and that would be a huge quality-of-life bump. But all this means that we are looking at apartment buildings instead of houses. I am no snob, but we have two big dogs who are accustomed in their lavatory habits to a fenced-in-yard. It was so nice to move to this house and have that after living with no yard in Pittsburgh. The good news is that the places we’ve scoped out are on cul-de-sacs near woodsy/meadowy areas so the dogs wouldn’t have to deal with city streets. Lenny is TERRIFIED of city streets and at this point we can’t train it out of him. There is one house in our price range but I am skeptical about it being in our price range. We’re not going to have a lot of money next year. I work for a few dollars over minimum wage and Attic Man is in school full time. I can’t afford to be picky, but dammit, I am kicking and whining about this one. And coin-op laundry? After having it in-home for four years? After remembering what a pain in the ass it is to take laundry off-site? With a toddler? No thank you.
Through dumb luck we’ve always lived in houses or duplexes. We would have gladly moved into an apartment before we had dogs but the duplex was what came open in Pittsburgh, and then we wanted a house so we could have a dog and at that point we could afford to rent one. So I guess I’m spoiled. But whine! Remember, I’m obsessed with being 30. I don’t want to be 30 and living in a run-down, cramped apartment with two dogs and a kid and carting my laundry up and down stairs or to laundromat. What’s that? I AM being a snob? Lots of people who are over 30 live in cramped, run-down apartments? Hurrumph. I still hate it.
Privilege. Makes you feel entitled to all kinda shit.
Yea, we’ve been living a soft life and are anticipating taking a huge pay cut and a cost of living hike in moving to Sydney. I’m using the same criteria you are in looking at places – shared laundry facilities with two little kiddos, and cloth diapers? Upper floor apartment with stairs, with two little kiddos and groceries? I’m confident something will work out.
But the time is so much more worth it than the space (which must be cleaned). And if you move into an apartment, you’ll also be shrinking your ecological footprint. Cold comfort, I know, but it’s something!
PS The Snapper won’t notice the difference at this age, which makes it a great time to go back to an apartment – for awhile.