On our way to Cedar Rapids tonight I told my dad on the phone that because I never got to come home from my trip, and by that I mean the house I will never live in again, there is this missing piece to my story that I need to complete it. I need to see the house, and I need to see it ruined. He said, “like the equivalent of a funeral.” And I said, “no, more like when you go to identify the body.” I need to physically witness the death of the life I had lived until a few days ago (I’m not counting the time I was away because all that time I’d assumed I’d return to it).
It wasn’t easy transitioning to the life in the little green house. Here we were, mountained and treed Pennsylvanians uprooted to the wide-open Midwest. You may recall that we moved pregnant and with no job prospects. Those first few months were hard. We worked temp jobs with weird hours. We sat on rocking chairs in the living room until we could afford a $60 couch thrift. Things improved when Attic Man landed his job and we got on regular health insurance, got better when he made it into law school, better still when he attended. Somewhere in there we had a healthy, active, incredible baby who grew into a toddler in that house. I got word of my fellowship in that house. The Snapper took his first steps there. I turned 30 there. It was smaller than what we were used to, but eventually we came to love having less space to take care of. We learned to live with less.
We’re doing that again as we all adjust to life in an even smaller place (sans the dogs, who were boarded and will move to my brother’s house for the time being tomorrow).
As it happens various agencies are not communicating well and though we were told we could visit our house we were turned back by the National Guard. We drove home with nothing but images of other people in boots and covered with mud piling their ruined belongings on the curb. The city is a mess.
Thank you all for your words of support and offers of help. We’ve decided to set up a Target registry so that people can help us with the things we’ll need to start a new household. At this point we’re assuming we’ve lost every thing, but there is a chance some of it is recoverable. We won’t know until we are able to get into the house, which at this point is probably the weekend. I’m also considering setting one up on Amazon–the only things I’m really upset about are my books. I’ve been collecting (and using) books for my profession since high school. All the Foucault, Hardy, Said, Milton…it’s all gone, as are my notes in the margins. The books are replaceable but the history those particular books carry is what’s hurting me.
At any rate it will be a week or so before the registry or registries is/are available. If you’d like the information please email me at jlpannell at gmail dot com and I’d be happy to send it to you if I already know you IRL or online.
Oh, my heart is hurting for you. They may be just things, just books, but they are things which hold meaning for us and connect us to our past.
I’m glad the three of you are okay. Please do send me your registry information.
Oh, that is so sad! I can’t imagine losing precious things like that. I’m so sorry you have lost your house and your things. Also so glad that your family is safe and together.
I’d also like the registry information, and if there’s anything else we can do…
If you have an address, I’d like to mail a card or some tangible warmth from me to you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’ve been lurking for years – before you moved to wordpress, actually, and although I never comment I’d like the registry info, if that’s ok.
The margin-note loss would certainly break my heart.
Be sure to send me that information.
Please send me that info, too. I’m sending much love out to you–I know how much books come to mean for an academic. I’m so sorry. But also relieved to hear from you again.
Please send me your info, too. Also, I have lots of nice kid stuff here if you don’t mind secondhand. Best wishes to all 3 of you!
Oh, I’m so sorry! Please do post your registry links so we can help in some small way!
Oh, I’m so sorry. Good luck, and let me know, too, where your registry is.
[…] Iowa; as a result of a "flood" of offers for help, they have set up a Target registry for replacing items lost in the flood. And Karen (of the Nekkid Ovary) has had her lovely daughter Chloe […]