Second haircut. 15 months and still blissfully in love with mirrors.
Yes! I’ve made it a month!
115 minutes cardio
2 free-weight sessions
45 minutes walking with a toddler on my back
I’m still struggling over size issues. In a moment of weakness I got out the scale AGAIN, and because I had to stand on the toilet to reach it, I got a full and honest view of my midsection in the mirror. Ouch. Rhetoric is cheap. I still want to be skinny. How do I get over this? Do I need to throw the scale away? Even then I still have the mirror, and if you saw how poorly I already manage my hair (a ponytail is a ‘style,’ right?) you wouldn’t suggest I throw it out, either. There are shop windows, and magazines (even if I don’t buy them, in grocery store lines), commercials, other women talking endlessly about weight loss…I am hopelessly lost in a sea of skinny obsession and I want OUT!
The update on the vegetarian front is that I think I’ve come to a conclusion: vegetarian on a regular basis except on the rare occasion that locally and humanely caught fish is available; dairy in moderation and daily enjoyment of vegan foods. People, I LOVE vegan food. I am at a fair trade/vegan cafe in IC and just had the most divine hazelnut espresso muffin followed by a truly decadent tempeh reuben (spell check just underlined both words :))
I’ll spare you–and me, for that matter–the excruciating details of my week-long internet research of dairy, but I’ve come to the conclusion that dairy isn’t unnatural for humans and that it has health benefits but that it is waaaaaay over-consumed, most definitely by me. I did actually consider going vegan for a few days–tried it on, felt it out–but given that I am allergic to soy milk and almonds, (both good sources of calcium) and am hard up for B12 otherwise, I’m going to keep the milk and eggs, just in smaller amounts. 1000 mg of calcium isn’t that much and doesn’t all need to come from dairy (a cup of yogurt gives you half that, and the other half can be consumed in kale and the like). I understand that B12 is available in supplemental form but I am suspicious of any diet that cannot support all necessary nutrients without supplementation (though I believe in multis because no one makes correct calculations 100% of the time–yesterday, for example, I was deficient in vitamin K and selenium). Vegans will disagree with me on the necessity of calcium and B12 in current recommended amounts, but after reading a lot of stuff from a number of different perspectives I’m going with conventional wisdom on this one. I do agree with vegans that omnivores are probably MORE likely to be nutritionally deficient, in part because vegans have to be so much more mindful of a non-traditional way of eating. I can throw together a meat/starch/veggie meal at the group home without a second thought but I really have to think through a vegan dinner at home. Even through the process of considering veganism I’ve become more aware of the deficiencies of what I thought was a pretty healthy diet and made a lot of adjustments. I’m eating about 3-4 servings more vegetables and fruits a day now, and not relying on soy so much.
And now I have to leave my lovely vegan cafe to go to the library where I don’t have internet access on my laptop and will be therefore less tempted to google “vegan cupcakes” when I’m supposed to be reading about WWI (painful).
P.S. For those of you who will know what this is: I was awarded a thing that rhymes with “felon” and it means that I will not have to work next year. I can devote my non-parenting time (which I’ll have more of) entirely to the dissertation. I am elated.
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